Last week the Federal Trade Commission approved orders settling charges against two companies selling caffeine-infused underwear.  Norm Thompson Outfitters, Inc. and Wacoal America, Inc. don’t have to recall the underwear made from fabric with microencapsulated caffeine, retinol and other ingredients, but they have to stop pretending the items will do anything but keep your junk in place. Also, they have to pay a combined about $1.5 million towards refunds for those souls that dared to believe.
Do you have questions? Naturally.
Curtain upÂ
TIC: Have you heard about this caffeine underwear?
TAC: No I haven’t. By all means, tell me about the caffeine underwear. For starters, huh?
TIC: The underwear is infused with caffeine. It’s shapewear and boxer briefs—
TAC: —that you wear? Like, on your body?
TIC: Yes yes of course. That’s the point.
TAC: How bizarre. So, the caffeine in the underwear is meant to leave the fabric and go into your body?
TIC: Well sure. But these two companies that sell them just got fined by the FTC.
TAC: Yea that sounds kind of shady. But, I dunno, I guess the nicotine patch is pretty standard. And don’t they sell transdermal patches with birth control hormones in them? Say, my initial opinion on the topic of caffeine underwear is beginning to change!
TIC: Oh, no no no. That’s not—I see that I’ve confused you.