Sen. Bernie Sanders has demanded that Hillary Clinton apologize for accusing his campaign of lying. Since Clinton is overwhelmingly likely to be the nominee, and since she will need his voters to defeat Trump or Cruz or Kasich or the Fuller Brush Man or whoever the Republicans finally nominate, it would be in her interest to defer to the demands of her about-to-be-defeated rival.
And since she won’t, it seems to me that her supporters should apologize on her behalf. So here goes:
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry you broke your promise to campaign on issues rather than making baseless personal attacks.
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry that your campaign’s original hopeful tone has turned so nasty.
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry that your policy proposals are so rich in slogans and so poor in practical details. And I wish you knew the difference between “universal coverage” (a goal) and “single payer” (one of many alternative means of reaching that goal).
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry that you don’t have any accomplishments to point to after a generation in public office.
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry that your campaign staff and surrogates have denigrated the work of heroes such as John Lewis and Dolores Huerta when they didn’t support you.
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry that your campaign is deceiving its contributors with fairy-tales about how the race for the nomination is close.
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry that none of your colleagues in the Senate supports you for President.
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry you haven’t learned anything or forgotten anything since junior-year sociology class in 1963.
- Senator Sanders, I’m sorry that the Washington Post awarded you Three Pinocchios for your false claims.
Do you think that will satisfy Bernie and his fans? Or should I apologize some more?
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