I was a huge fan of the late James Garner, including of course for his work on the Rockford Files. This quiz is a tribute to that show, which always opened with a message left on Jim’s answering machine. The list below includes 8 real messages from season 1, and two that are fake. Your challenge is to identify the fakes. Answers after the jump. Observations on the quiz or on just how damn great this show was are welcome in the comments.

1. “Mr. Rockford? This is the Thomas Crown School of Dance and Contemporary Etiquette. We aren’t going to call again. Now, you want these free lessons, or what?”

2. “It’s Norma at the market. It bounced. You want me to tear it up, send it back, or put it with the others?”

3. “Sonny, it’s Dad. Remember how my truck had that problem with the brakes? Can you pick me up at the end of the Santa Monica pier?”

4. “It’s Laurie at the trailer park. A space opened up. Do you want me to save it or are the cops going to let you stay where you are?”

5. “I staked out that guy only it didn’t work out like you said. Please call me. Room 234. County Hospital.”

6. “It’s Audra. Remember last summer at Pat’s? I’ve got a twelve hour layover before I go to Chicago. How about it?”

7. “This is Shirley at the bank. The answers are: no, no, and yes. No, we won’t loan you money. No, we won’t accept any co-signers; and yes, your account’s overdrawn. I get off at 4:30.”

8. “Jimmy it’s Angel. I’m onto an incredible land deal that you’ve got to get in on. Buddy, you are going to LOVE Florida, Call me.”

9. “It’s Doc Jones. What did you do to the hand, son? Three fractured knuckles! You hit somebody?”

10. “This is Mrs. Lindis. Three time this month I came to clean and it always look like people been fighting in there. Furniture broke, things tipped over. I’m sorry, but I quit.”

ANSWERS

The fakes are #3 and #8. If you got one, well done. If you got them both, that’s fantastic.