Jonathan Vilma is an NFL player who is not afraid of colliding with great, big, strong guys in fiberglass armor on the field. He is not afraid to sell his post-career lucidity for money. He is courage on the hoof, is Jonathan Vilma, and yet he is afraid of someone looking at him with sexual interest that he does not requite. Good for Jonathan! That diffidence, and his heartbreaking plea for our sympathy should he ever to face that challenge, expresses the chivalrous culture of his sport. It is why every woman knows she is never at risk of sexual assault — or even a moment’s embarrassment — if a football player should look at her with sexual interest that she does not requite. Every one of these paragons understands how she feels, respects that feeling in word and deed, and in fact they are known to avoid bars and parties with women, lest they put one in that impossible “how am I supposed to respond?” state of anxiety that terrifies Jonathan. Good for Jonathan, and shame on Michael Sam for threatening him with a situation Jon, and his peers, would never inflict on anyone.
Learning from Michael Sam
By Michael O'Hare 463779 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.samefacts.com%2F2014%2F02%2Fsports%2Flearning-from-michael-sam%2FLearning+from+Michael+Sam2014-02-11+00%3A13%3A05Michael+O%27Harehttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.samefacts.com%2F%3Fp%3D46377
John G says
Indeed. Some amount of male nervousness about male homosexuality is discomfort at being looked at as a sex object, by someone with whom one does not want to have sex… So the parallel with women's responses is entirely suitable. Not to mention that the likelihood of a professional football player being sexually assaulted by a teammate is very small, given the strength of all the participants - most unlike the relationship between the straight player and women.
paul says
Perhaps it is precisely the Golden Rule that makes him nervous.
CJColucci says
Last I checked, and not in any shower,, Vilma was a pretty good-looking guy. He has (or should have, unless he is a dolt or his manager is a crook) have plenty of money. I can't imagine that he hasn't been looked upon with sexual interest by women to whom he wouldn't give the time of day. So he should be used to it. Man up, Vilma.
John Herbison says
Perhaps Vilma should ask any large busted 16 year old girl for advice as to his dilemma.
calling all toasters says
Yes, people look at others with sexual interest all the time. And yet some people are reluctant to appear naked in front of people who are reasonably likely to look at them this way! That's just craziness.
John G says
Re appearing naked in front of people with a sexual interest: first, is it better if one knows or one does not know that there is such an interest? There are surely already gay players in the NFL, just not out. So it happens now. Second, one is not appearing naked as a deliberate act of provocation, or in artificial circumstances, so the context is very different from a gratuitous act of exposure. Third, the average NFL player (or other locker-room jock) is able to take care of himself (or herself, for women athletes), so they are not at greater risk for appearing naked. Fourth, the person who may look with sexual interest is still not allowed to do anything about it without consent, and the nakedness is not in itself consent, any more than young women who dress 'provocatively' are deemed in law to consent (and the man-in-the-street reaction that 'she had it coming' is no longer either respectable or effective in law - your jury may vary….)
I would have thought that any gay athlete would be exceedingly careful about level of interest and reality of consent before making any approach at all to a teammate, especially while the presence of gay players is not taken for granted. I expect that Mr Sam, if he is drafted, will keep his eyes to himself in the shower.
NCGatSmFcts says
Cheer up, O'Hare. Saying something really stupid in public is often the first step towards getting schooled. It starts a very healthy conversation.
Btw: re the comment system — is says you can comment as a Guest, but really, you can't. ???
navarro says
i just commented as a guest in my reply to you.
Ralph says
oh, really?
looks like you are still navarro!