Stanford University President Gerhard Casper once gave a speech in which he commented on his tendency to mix metaphors, which amused and at times bemused those around him. My favorite of the ones he quoted was:

“Let’s not drop anchor when we aren’t out of the woods yet”

My best friend, my wife and I got into the habit of calling such things “split metaphors” and keeping track of ones that made us laugh. Here are a few:

“I don’t think she’s shooting straight off the bottom of the deck”

“You really hit the nose on the face”

“He’s so good at chess that every time we play, he cleans my butt”

What are your favorite split metaphors?