December 31st, 2011

As a public service on what AA members call “Amateur Night,” I would like to present the perfect remedy for a hangover, one never known to fail. It’s an old family secret, but I consider all of my colleagues here - fellow posters, commenters, and silent readers alike - as part of my greater family.

So, here it is, the one and only surefire hangover cure:

Don’t get drunk in the first place.

And it comes with a bonus: it greatly improves your chances of staying on pitch through the chorus of “Auld Lang Syne.”

16 Responses to “Concerning the morning after”

  1. Josh O. says:

    Attack of the teetoling scolds! Have a happy sober New Year!

    • Mark Kleiman says:

      I’ll plead guilty as to “scold” - though ‘moralist” says the same thing more politely - but not to “teetotling.” First, I didn’t advise not drinking, but not getting drunk. This evening I had some Scotch, some rather stiff eggnog, and some champagne, but at the end of it I could still carry a tune (as well as I usually can, at least). Second, the advice was hypothetical, not categorical: if you want to avoid a hangover, the best approach is not to get drunk in the first place. You pays your money, and you takes your choice.

  2. Byomtov says:

    Drunk or sober, I have no chance of staying on pitch, or ever even being on pitch, for “Auld Lang Syne” or any other song.

  3. KLG says:

    Been drunk and been sober on this night and others. Sober is better. If you have a good time, you remember it.

  4. NCG says:

    “Auld Lang Syne” is a truly wretched song. The only bearable version was in the, get this, Sex and the City movie (the first one). I doubt anyone here saw that movie, but trust me, it’s a really good version.

    If you don’t have to drive, and don’t have a drinking problem, then I think a little bit tipsy is the best way to ring in a new year. Otherwise, what Mark said.

    • Keith Humphreys says:

      NCG: That’s not fair, I have heard some lovely as well as sweetly sad versions of the song (played without the words, at least).

      Mark: As you know I am a sometimes drinker. But I don’t drink on New Year’s Eve. There’s too many people at it too hard and I feel safer, particularly if I have to be on the roads, ringing in the new year without alcohol.

  5. Jamie says:

    The problem, of course, is that nobody else will be on key, and if you’re drunk, you don’t notice.

  6. Manju says:

    Another way to ensure you’ll have no hangover tomorrow is to keep drinking until Monday. Works like a charm.

  7. Manju says:

    Whatever became of those kgb hangover pills?

  8. Andrew Sabl says:

    I’m with Jamie: Mark, you of all people should know a coordination game when you see one.

  9. Brett says:

    Sober’s alright. If that fails, lots of water always seemed to straighten me out after drinking.

  10. Andrew T says:

    2 ibuprofen + multivitamin + 1L Gatorade.

    You will have far less hangover than you deserve.

  11. marcel says:

    Both Mark and, implicitly in his counterproposal, Manju are confusing remedy with prevention. An ounce of prevention may be worth a pound of [remedy], but “worth” is not the same thing as “same thing”.

  12. [...] slow day off of work combined with a fast new lap top (Xmas gift) and no hangover (I followed Mark’s suggestion) makes this a good day to blog. I have learned a great deal about this medium over the past year, [...]

  13. Warren Drugs says:

    If only there were an intoxicant that provided great euphoria with no hangover… something one could grow oneself…

  14. Anderson says:

    Stay hydrated and eat something first. Eat, have a drink, have a glass of water, have another drink, have another glass of water. I’ve never been hung over when I remember to do this.


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