This posting from last year remains significant to me, especially this holiday season, when many Americans may need an extra helping hand or a cup of coffee in a tough year.
More so than myself, my wife Veronica and her brother Vincent are attached to cherished holiday rituals. Since my in-laws have both passed away, we carry on these rituals in our home.
These rituals provide much joy and not a little sadness. “I lived with Mom,” Vincent remarked out of nowhere. “She died. Now I have my own place.” He can’t convey much about his inner life. He communicates enough to show that the holidays are times of genuine grieving.
His fellow group home residents may also have turbulent emotions around the holidays. Some celebrate with close relatives. Others have outlived their caregivers, or have at least outlived these relationships. This morning, I picked Vincent up for a family trip and Thanksgiving celebration. I chatted with a solitary staff member was preparing a large turkey dinner for several residents. They will have a nice meal. Yet conditions are Spartan, particularly in these times of fiscal austerity and the state’s nonpayment of its bills. Guys with no close relatives will spend Thanksgiving and Christmas hanging out at home with a skeleton crew. They’ll be safe and well-tended, but probably pretty bored, too.
For many different reasons, in many different ways, the holidays can be hard or sad times for many people. People mourn siblings or parents who are no longer on this earth to celebrate. People mourn broken romances and marriages, too. Career disappointments and economic anxieties can seem especially daunting this time of year. People face depression and other physical or mental health concerns, too. Meanwhile, we are all commanded to be happy and be grateful and be thankful (and of course to buy lots of stuff) when more ambivalent emotions are likely to take hold.
I don’t mean for this to be a downer post. I myself feel quite blessed this year. Still, not everyone feels the same. This is a good time to reach out and touch someone, to renew a friendship, to lend a helping hand, to share a cup of coffee with someone who doesn’t quite as blessed this holiday season.
This post is appreciated, and thought-provoking. Note that this sentence seems muddled. I chatted with a solitary staff member was preparing a large turkey dinner for several connected home.
Thanks SamChevre. Fixed the cut and paste error.
This will be one of the few times you’ll find me in full agreement with Sam. (About the first sentence; the rest is now moot.)
Any time is a good time for kindness, but the holidays may be especially good because of those commands of gratitude, thankfulness and to buy lots of stuff. Even people who reject cherished holiday rituals or any wonder in favor of either clinging to indulgence and novelty or floating towards fear, anger and hatred can do the kinds of things mentioned in this post.
‘I tell you with certainty, since you didn’t do it for one of the least important of these, you didn’t do it for me.’
Peace.
Yes, the Untied Way has become especially needful in these Scrooge & Marley times.
http://articles.sfgate.com/2003-12-23/entertainment/17524014_1_enablers-homeless-people-untied