August 10th, 2011

joins the big shark jump. But today’s column opens a career escape hatch for him: political enlightenment for youth. In the spirit of this pathbreaking opus, imaginary speeches in the voices of Obama and Boehner, I anticipate the next step:
“See the big meeting, Dick! Run, Dick, run, so we can sit in front!”
“I see the meeting, Jane! What a nice meeting, with donuts on the table in back. Let’s listen!”
“Oh my” says the big bad wolf, “I will be a good wolf and not eat pork, lamb, and grandmothers. We should all be friends now.”
“We are sorry we made witch rĂ´ti” says Hansel, “and eating her candy house gave us tummy aches.”
“We all have to live together happily in the forest,” said Goldilocks, “and I will clean up the bear house and take baby bear to his music lessons all next month.”
“Napoleon is happy Snowball back from Mexico. Happy Napoleon. Happy animals!”
Everyone clapped for the new Grand Bargain and had a big hug.

Dick fwows up. Jane fwows up. “Jane, if you ever drag me to something this puerile again, I will throw your goddam red ball under a steamroller. Are you nuts, or on crack?”
[fixed link 10/VIII, sorry]

13 Responses to “Thomas Friedman…”

  1. David Wilford says:

    But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.

  2. J says:

    The link in Michael’s post is not working.

  3. koreyel says:

    On the one hand: A happy meal of fruit loops soaking in a bowl of kool-aid.
    On the other hand: I feel empowered. Apparently anybody can write for the NYT…
    On the third hand: Any analogues for this goofball back in 1859?

  4. R, Johnston says:

    “On the third hand: Any analogues for this goofball back in 1859?”

    James Buchanan.

  5. Barry says:

    First, Friedman jumped the shark decades ago.

    Second, any time that you see an otherwise lying MSM pundit stating the truth, it’s a temporary failing on their part.

    Seriously, how many hundreds of times can somebody spout BS and lies in your face before you figure out what they are?

  6. KLG says:

    For the few members of the RBC who have not read Matt Taibbi on Tom Friedman (he of the “Friedman Unit”):
    http://www.nypress.com/article-11419-flathead.html
    http://www.nypress.com/article-19271-flat-n-all-that.html

  7. Benny Lava says:

    You mean suck on this?

    http://youtu.be/ZwFaSpca_3Q

    Jumped the shark YEARS ago.

  8. Seth says:

    KLG:

    Thank you for those links. Taibbi’s skewering of Friedmanese gave me the biggest laugh I’ve had in YEARS. (I think I must have read it when it first appeared, but it was still very refreshing.)

    Not the funniest bit by any means, but perhaps the key takeaway:

    “Friedman *is* an important American. He is the perfect symbol of our culture of emboldened stupidity.”

  9. politicalfootball says:

    Perhaps the most depressing thing about that column is that it probably embodies Obama’s fantasy, too.

  10. No ponies? What a jip.

  11. Swift Loris says:

    @KLG-my thanks as well. Used up three Kleenexes rereading these for the third or fourth time.